Saturday, March 17, 2007

A Lame Superhero for St. Patrick’s Day


Hey folks, remember Shamrock the "Irish” superhero (who wasn’t created by the Irish)? You don’t? That’s OK no one else does either. What was Marvel Comics thinking back in the 80s? Of course we know what they were thinking… Ireland needs a national superhero. Gah.

Taken from Marvel Universe Appendix entry

Molly Fitzgerald
Occupation: Hairdresser, adventurer, former schoolteacher
Identity/Class: Human (Irish), mystic
Base of Operations: Dublin, Ireland
Powers/Abilities: Shamrock is possessed by the souls of thousands of victims of wars. The souls manifest themselves as poltergeists that affect probability within a 20-foot radius of Shamrock, altering situations so that she is given an advantage ("good luck").

History: - When Molly was three years old, her father called out to the heavens to grant her brother Paddy the power to strike down his enemies, but there was no immediate result. In Molly's freshman year in college, she discovered that she had obtained a protective aura that altered probability around her. She became the costumed hero Shamrock.

-Shamrock was among the throng of heroes who celebrated the Hulk's presidential pardon after he had temporarily regained his intelligence, and remarked: "Tis easy being green!"

- Shamrock represented Ireland in the first Pan-European Conference on Super-Human Affairs, which was crashed by Brain Drain. Brain Drain attempted to mind-control Shamrock into killing Ireland's president, but her luck power made her immune to his powers. When Northstar of Alpha Flight arrived, expecting to find her under Brain Drain's control, they sat down for some tea instead.

- Molly slipped in the washroom and broke her left foot. Convinced that her luck had run out, she retired the Shamrock identity and devoted herself to her career as a hairdresser.

- Molly's reputation as "the most sought-after hairdresser in all of Europe" brought her Shadowcat and Wolfsbane of Excalibur as clients.


Completely silly huh. At least Molly never seemed to take her role as a superhero too seriously, how could she, nobody else did. Oh, and I guess she isn't so bad when compared with all dumb things Marvel Comics is doing now. Thank heavens that Shamrock was allowed to simply retire and was not raped or murdered like all the other second tier heroes. Maybe she does have a little of that luck left after all.

Be green and have a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

-Swinebread

13 comments:

Dean Wormer said...

She's awesome.

What was Marvel thinking?

Should we use the bong or the pipe.

Pandabonium said...

Just say no to steroids, Lass.

Selba said...

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!!!

Getting green also in here? :)

ladybug said...

Hmmm, it might be fun to look up other variously obscure Marvel/DC comic heros/heroines, just to see what they came up with...

Ok, I'll try-
How about "Lace-maker Mama"-a goth version of the Brittany peasant girl w/a mile high white lace bonnet. She protects anyone who practices textile arts.

Ice Princess-a human/huldufolk hybrid from Iceland who can save you from an avalanche, or bury you in ice if you offend her.

Let's hear some other ideas!

Overdroid said...

Did she eat lucky charms, use irish spring, drink guiness, and devote herself to catholicism?

Reminds me of super mario 64. If you don't move the character of mario for awhile he falls asleep, and then starts mumbling things like "meatballs, pizza pie, etc." in his dreams. He might as well just say "I'm a bad stereotype."

Swinebread said...

No, but I think she saved the world by writing books

Overdroid said...

I don't get it.

The Moody Minstrel said...

Oh, come on, Overdroid! Superhero comics have always thrived on stereotypes!

Swinebread said...

Yeah, how many black superheroes have "black" as part of their name...

Seymour said...

With all the mayhem and destruction in comic books, I always felt there was a need for a 'super' insurance claims adjuster.

All right, that was lame.

Swinebread said...

Yeah, but lame goes with the theme of this post :)

The Moody Minstrel said...

Because Shamrock's secret identity quit after she became lame.

Then again, she was lame to begin with.

What a lame comment!

The Colorman said...

GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN???!?