Friday, March 2, 2007

Tori Spelling... Fish Face


I was thinking about that Shadow over Innsmouth movie, titled Cthulhu mentioned in a post by snabulus a while ago, well I finally put 2 and 2 together. You see, I have always thought that Tori Spelling had a fish face, not that there is anything wrong with that. I’m huge fan of sushi mind you. But remember the jolly Dagon worshipers of Innsmouth have been boinking the original creatures of the black lagoon for generations. These horrific unions produce inbred children that look human at first, but slowly transform into grotesque fish folk over time. Brings new meaning to fish lover doesn’t it.


Now I wouldn’t want to cast aspersions on Tori’s genetic background or family traditions, she’s as rich as a Marsh so she’ll get over it. But I realized that having her in this film is a masterstroke. Her large unblinking eyes, her extended soggy lips, call you to worship great Cthulhu and his little buddy Dagon without saying a word at all. Sends shivers down your spine, doesn’t it? Although, I’m sure Tori is the nicest deepone hybrid you’ll ever meet. Now, if I could just locate that debauched spot off the coast of California where these Hollywood elites are copulating with humanoids from the deep that fancy TV royalty.

I probably won’t get around to seeing this film as I have better things to do like pull out my chest hair with clamshells but if you want to see the trailer her it is:


Hail Dagon... Hail Tori

-Swinebread

thanks to chaosium, the superficial and flynet

8 comments:

Don Snabulus said...

You better watch it when you diss the Ancient Powers. Nobody really knows what became of the corpse of Aaron Spelling and it could be animated by something so bizarre and hideous that you may find yourself wandering some random street between ancient cathedrals jibbering nonsense about how the tentacles never stop writhing and will the screams of lost souls ever abate.

Selba said...

LOL *looing at Tori Spelling's fish face*

I guess, it's so true that slim women are much more attractive than.... those fish face women!!! :D

Seymour said...

Snabby, you pretty much just described my Sunday mornings.

Maybe you can get Minisnab to rename one of the new fishes "Tori".

Seymour said...

Oh, and great pic progression Swinebread. Truly a masterpiece.

I think that's all the evidence we'll need to enter her in the famous 'Westminster Fish Show'.

Hypatia said...

AHHH, I too hail the fishoid pic progression! 'Tis all too true....


Tori, Thank Goddess I hardly knew ye!

Swinebread said...

don snabulus I’m counting on it. Cause I blew through my sanity long ago.

selba Well to cut Tori Spelling some slack, she is pregnant in that picture and I thought that she had a fish face long before she started packing on the pounds. Skinny or fat a fish face is a fish face. Also, I’m not nearly as cruel as some posters at the superficial site (see the link at the bottom of this post). Now they are downright wicked in their verbal abuse.

Seymour A masterstroke… I might just call any unnamed fish Tori from now on. As for the deep ones comparison, look to Escape from Innsmouth by Chaosium for the original art. I did it to help folks see what I see.

hypatia She’s a’changin’

Overdroid said...

You know you are going to see that movie. Please.

Whatever you do don't mention Hastur the untype-able. Oh. Sorry.

Dean Wormer said...

Great post. That photo sequence is perfect!