The Chinese Gods have admitted to deceiving the public over another highlight of the Olympics: the Goddess of Compassion, who blessed the games, was not considered attractive enough to represent China.
The hotty with big knockers that was introduced to be Guan Yin, the ancient Goddess of Mercy, had become an international sensation after her nasty trysts with tourists and athletes of both sexes.
But Lei Gong, the Duke of Thunder, felt forced to set the record straight. He gave an interview, which said that the attractive deity that raised eyebrows and passions with her lusty ways was not Guan Yin at all, but rather Chuang-Mu, the Chinese Goddess of the Bed and Sexual Delights. The real Guan Yin was considered too motherly and not sexy enough to represent the Heavily host of China and was swapped out at the eleventh hour.
The Jade Emperor had no comment on the switch.