Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Atomic Romance Awards

It’s the First Annual Atomic Romance Awards! This is my special tribute to the comic books of 2007 that have earned fame or infamy in my little corner of comic fandom. Now you might think there are some obvious choices missing from the winner’s circle, but as I’m not buying a huge swath of titles published by Marvel or DC this makes sense. The Atomic Romance Awards reflect my personal preferences and that’s just how it should be… …it’s my blog. So, I’ll end the banter and let the ceremony begin.

Note: The Atomic Romance Award categories were painstakingly developed along with a rigorous vetting process for the awardees. In other words, this is bunch of crap I made up off the top of my head.

Best Title Overall: Army of Darkness, Dynamite Entertainment.

Runner up: The Walking Dead, Image.

Best Writer: Dan Slott She-Hulk, Marvel Comics.

Runner Up: Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead, Image

Best mini-series: Dark Tower: The Gunslinger Born, Marvel Comics.

Runner up: Captain Carrot and the Final Ark.

Best Adventure Comic: Jungle Girl, Dynamite Entertainment.

Runner Up: Black Coat, Ape Entertainment.

Best Horror Title: Fall of Cthulhu, Boom Studios.

Runner Up: The Secret, Dark Horse Comics.

Best Sword and Sorcery Title: Red Sonja, Dynamite Entertainment.

Runner Up: Conan, Dark Horse Comics.

Best Sci-Fi Title: Star Trek Klingons: Blood Will Tell, IDW.

Runner Up: Terminator 2 Infinity, Dynamite Entertainment.

Best Art: Jae Lee & Richard Isanove – Dark Tower: The Gun Slinger Born, Marvel Comics.
Runner Up: Phil Noto Jonah Hex, DC Comics.

Worst Costume: Earth-11 Wonder Man.

Best Costume: SHIELD She-Hulk

Best Dramatic Moment: Spock’s lack of emotion shocks vicious Aliens, Star Trek Alien Spotlight: Vulcans #1, IDW

Runner Up: Suicide by Zombie, Walking Dead #41, Image.

Best Comedic Moment, Zombie Hulk wipes butt with the Necronomicon, Marvel Zombies vs. the Army of Darkness #5, Marvel Comics/Dynamite Entertainment.
Runner Up: The Sandy Eggo Comic Con in Captain Carrot and the Final Ark #1

Best One-liner: Ash: “Save the Whore Save the World” Army of Darkness From the Ashes # 3, Dynamite Entertainment.
Runner Up: Wolverine: “...I got better things to do than go around chasing Juggernaut’s sloppy seconds.” She-Hulk #16, Marvel Comics.

Biggest Surprise How Good It Was: Planetary Brigade trade paperback, Boom Studios.

Best Single Issue: Jack of Fables # 16, DC Comics.
Runner Up: Fall of Cthulhu # 7, Boom Studios.

Worst Single Issue: Green Arrow and Black Canary Wedding Special, DC Comics
Runner Up: Green Arrow and Black Canary Wedding Special, DC Comics (it's that bad)

Best Trade Paperback: 52, DC Comics.
Runner up: El Cazador, Disney

Best Collection of Older Comics: Chronicles of Conan, Marvel Comics/Dark Horse Comics.
Runner Up: Sword of the Atom, DC Comics.

Best Comic Company: Dynamite Entertainment.

Dumbest Moment: Killing Captain America.

Worst Editor-in-Chief: tie Dan Didio & Joe Quesada.

Silliest Outrage: Mary Jane Statue (on all sides).

Biggest Disappointment: Cancelled Showcase Presents titles, DC Comics
Runner Up: Star Trek: Year Four, IDW.

Lamest Promotion: Countdown’s Evil Shall Inherit the Earth

Favorite Earth from DC’s 52 Multiverse: Earth-3.
Runner Up: Earth-10

Favorite Hero: Red Sonja.
Runner Up: Captain Carrot.

Most Ruined Character: Spiderman,
Runner Up: The Flash

Favorite Villain: Kulan Gath, Red Sonja
Runner Up: the Governor, Walking Dead.

Best Origin Story: Book Of Thoth, Dark Horse Comics.

Best Cameo: Bald Female Luthor, The Search for Ray Palmer: Superwoman/Batwoman #1, DC Comics.
Runner Up: Zombie Ham, The Ultimate Civil War Spider-Ham #1, Marvel Comics.

Team or Character Most in Need of Another Mini-series: Captain Carrot.

Team or Character Least Deserving of Another Miniseries: Green Lantern

Best Cover She-Hulk #20, Marvel Comics.

Worst Cover: Spiderman/Red Sonja #1

Most Shocking Cover: Black Summer #0, Avatar.

Biggest Bone Thrown to Female Comic Fans: Earth-11.
Runner Up: Gail Simone on Wonder Woman.

Best Title I Have No Desire to Read: Buffy: Season Eight, Dark Horse Comics.

Best Title I have a Desire to Read But Won’t Until the Trade Comes Out: Conan, Dark Horse comics.

Worst Title I’m Really Glad I Didn’t Read: Amazons Attack, DC Comics.

Best New Anti-Hero: Tallulah Black “The Ballad of Tallulah Black,” Jonah Hex #17, DC Comics.
Runner Up: Sergeant Hook, Army of Darkness: From the Ashes, Dynamite Entertainment.

Biggest Blood Bath: Black Summer #2, Avatar.

Best Porn Face: Jungle Girl #2 Cover, Dynamite Entertainment.

Best Supporting Character: Lori Grimes, Walking Dead.
Runner Up: Stu, She-Hulk.

Biggest Fanboy Moment: The appearance of the old style cylons in the Battlestar Galatica comics.

Most Rapists: Jonah Hex. DC Comics.

Best Formerly Un-cool Character That’s Now Very Cool: Doll Man.

Best Gunfight: Jonah Hex 25, DC Comics.

Most Friendly Depiction of Native Americans: Lone Ranger

Most Not So Friendly Depiction of Native Americans: Streets of Glory.

Best Letters Page: Walking Dead

Best Retcon: It wasn’t’ Alley Cat Abra that killed Little Cheese, it was her evil clone, Dark Ally! Captain Carrot and the Final Ark, DC Comics.

Best Monster: The Harlot, Fall of Cthulhu, Boom Studios.
Runner Up: Mutant Evil Ash From the Ashes #4, Dynamite Entertainment.

Best Sword Fight: Wolfskin #1, Avatar.
Runner Up: Sword of Red Sonja: Doom of the Gods # 3.

Most Squandered Potential: Shadowpact.

Best Free Comic Book Day Comic: Astounding Wolf-Man #1, Image.

Best Marvel Essential: Silver Surfer Vol 2

Best Showcase Presents: Adam Strange Vol 1

Best Crossover: Marvel Zombies vs. The Army of Darkness, Marvel Comics/ Dynamite Entertainment.

Best Death Scene: Spiderman eats Mary Jane and Aunt May, Marvel Zombies: Dead Days.

Biggest Oh Come On!: Spiderman One More Day,
Runner Up: Spiderman Reign

Best Reunited Lost Love Scene That Didn’t Happen: Captain Carrot and Wonder Wabbit.

Lamest Country in Marvel Atlas Volume 1: Any made up Balkan nation that’s not Latveria.

Cover That Makes Me Think About Vagina the Most: Shadowpact #16

Favorite Lesbian: Batwoman

Most Anticipated Title for 2008: The Twelve, Marvel Comics.
Runner Up: Superpowers, Dynamite Entertainment.

Worst News: Rob Liefeld is drawing Killraven… …and Robert Kirkman thinks it looks good.

Congratulations to all the winners!



ladybug said...

Ok, now how about the Awards Dinner and oh-so-exclusive after parties!

Pretty darn Hilarious, I'll make sure Snabby gets view

Arkonbey said...

You forgot

Bes Categories List: Atomic Romance Awards

No, I'm not brownnosing. That made me laugh as much as anything on Dave's Long Box .


Arkonbey said...

I just noticed that my Christmas greeting comment didn't take, so here you go:

Merry (belated) Christmas, Swinebread! Merry (belated) Christmas, All!

Don Snabulus said...

Merry Christmas, arkonbey!

Wow, that was the 3 Es: entertaining, encyclopedic and eclectic.

Good list!

rob! said...

i love this idea, and i agree with almost all your choices! yes, the GA/BC wedding special was that bad!

and while the Zatanna cover was a good choice, any Red Sonja, Ms Marvel, or Jungle Girl cover makes me think about vaginas, as well.

Shelly said...

Well, I don't agree with everything -- and why should I? -- but I had fun reading it all. :)

Oh, and you're going on my blogroll.

Becca said...

Oh my gosh that Wonder man costume is terrible!!!

Great post by the way! Money problems keep me out of comic book stores these days but I still love reading about them.

Swinebread said...

LB – Pop the champagne… it’s a real celebration for sure.

Arkonbey – thanks, I had fun making the categories, it allowed me to make a quick comment on things that have been in the back of my mind. At some point, though, I just had to stop thinking things up or the categories would have went on and on.

No worries on the belated holiday greeting

Snab – thanks, it’s also the three Hs, Horny, Hairy, Hideous

Rob! – Thank you, I’m glad you liked it. If I had had thought about doing this earlier, I might have paid even more attention to what was happening with comics. The wedding Special really pissed me off because I was trying to branch out of the comics that I normally buy.

To be sure those titles all get me hot under the collar too but there is something hypnotic maybe magical going on with Zatana and her cooch on this cover.

Sally – Glad you had fun reading the list, that’s the most important thing, so thanks for dropping by…

..and your added to mine as well. ☺

becca – isn’t that costume the worst! :D I’m obsessed earth-11 wonder man though, this is the third post I’ve made about him.

I know what you mean about comics, they’re expensive nowadays… hopefully you’ll get a chance to read the AoD comics some day. They’re a real kick.

Dean Wormer said...

Nice list.

I wasn't aware that Barbara Gordon enjoyed visits to the isle of Lesbos. Horribly sad, that.

Hope you had a great Christmas and hope to see you and the SO for New Years!

Swinebread said...

batWOMAN not batGIRL, different character Dean.

Joel Bryan said...

Great awards. The Earth-11 Wonder Man image was like being punched directly in the eyeballs by a couple of Santa's elves with salted fists.

Salute for the choices in "biggest disappointment" category. And also for the "Worst Title I'm Really Glad I Didn't Read." Bang! Dead perfect aim. I read the first issue just for slamming privileges... and even with that motivation it wasn't worth it! It's really that bad! It needs to somehow be un-printed.

Swinebread said...

Thanks Joel, I'm glad you enjoyed the list. Wonder man is my new enigma.

As for amazons attack... I just seemed to smell that one a mile away.

Doctor Smoke said...

oh why oh why oh why...
did I not find out about the marvel Zombies/Army of darkness crossover sooner?
Hulk wiping his butt with the Necronomicon?

also, the Zatanna cover makes think of boobs more than vaginas.

Swinebread said...

Sorry doc, but better late than never though.

I missed the 1st marvel zombies mini, so I know what it feels like.

The hardcover is coming out soon so that's something.

Doctor Smoke said...

I have the hardcover of Marvel zombies #1-6...
hardcover of AoD/MZ crossover, you say?

it shall be mine!!!

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