Atomic Romance Awards

It’s the Second Annual Atomic Romance Awards! This is my special tribute to the comic books of 2008 that have earned fame or infamy in my little corner of comic fandom. The Atomic Romance Awards reflect my personal preferences so that's why some obvious choices may not appear. But before we begin I'd like to take a moment to thank She-Hulk, my Co-presenter this time around. Also, I'd like to thank all of you, my net buddies, for stopping-by Atomic Romance this last year. It's been one hell of a ride.

Now on with the show!


Best Overall Title: The Astounding Wolf-Man, Image Comics

Runner-up: Conan the Cimmerian

Best Writer: Robert Kirkman for both Astounding Wolf-Man and Walking Dead (and probably Invincible too, but I'm nont reading it right now), IDW


Runner-up: J. Michael Stryzinski for The Twelve, Marvel Comics (He could have won top honors if he had finished this series)


Best mini-series: Star Trek: Assignment Earth, IDW

Runner-up: The Age of Sentry


Best Adventure Comic: Tor, DC Comics

Runner Up: The War That Time forgot,DC Comics


Best Sword and Sorcery Title: Conan the Cimmerian, Dark Horse Comics
Runner-up: Wolf-Skin, Avatar


Best Sci-Fi: North Wind, Boom Studios

Runner Up: Star Trek: The Hollow Crown, IDW


Best Art: Chris Weston, The Twelve. Marvel Comics

Runner-up: John Byrne, Star Trek: The Hollow Crown. IDW


Best Horror: Necronimicon

Runner-up: The Crossed


Best Death: Rebecca gets accidentally slapped to death by Zecheriah the vampire, The Astounding Wolf-Man #7, Image Comics

Runner-up: Drunk Officer pulped by a propeller in Phantom Eagle #1, Marvel Comics


Best Cover: Army@Love: The Art of War #3, Vertigo

Runner-up: Amazing Spiderman #560


Worst Cover: 1985 #4, Marvel Comics

Runner Up: The Man With No Name #2, one of the greatest western characters ever is drawn to look like Bush


Best Dramatic Moment: Dynamic Man (from the 1940s) discovers interracial marriage, The Twelve #2

Runner-up: Captain Wonder at his wife’s grave, The Twelve #2


Best Butt: She-Hulk on King Size Hulk #1

Runner-up: damsel in distress on cover of Conan the Cimmerian #2


Best Animal Hero: Monkey Speedball, Marvel Apes
Rocket Raccoon, Guardians of the Galaxy


Best Geekout: Reading how Mirror Kirk assassinated Mirror Pike in Star Trek Mirror Images 1-5


Worst Costume: THE BLUE BLAAAADE!
Oh come on, could there possibly be any other choice from 2008!?

Runner-up: Jack Pot


Best Costume: Female Starhawk, Guardians of the Galaxy #5

Runner-up: The Crimson Reporter, The Twelve, Marvel Comics


Favorite Hero: Ambush Bug (If you can call him a hero)



Favorite Villain: Cranio, The Man with the Tri-Level Mind! The Age of the Sentry

Runner-up: Catman, Secret Six


Horniest Villain: King Crimson, Dark Tower, Marvel Comics



Best New Character: Ape X, Marvel Apes


Worst New Character: Jackpot


Best Fake Covers: Marvel Apes


Best Essential or Showcase Presents: Savage Sword of Conan… Ha!



Most Likely To Piss Off PETA Badger Saves the world


Best Gunfight: Brothers in Arms#4

Runner-up: Bat Lash #6


Best Formerly Ugly Aliens that Are Now Sexpots: Skrulls


Best Sword Fight: Wolfskin Annual, Avatar


Best Reprint: Dr. Who Classics, IDW


Best Cross of Hellraiser Cenobites with Piers Anthony’s Incarnations of Immortality: Army of Darkness: Home Sweet Hell


Lamest Series I’m glad I didn’t read: It is a Tie
Secret Invasion/Final Crisis and all of the spin offs


Best Single Issue: Fantastic Comics #24 Image

Runner-up; Jonah Hex #33, DC Comics


Best Comedic Moment: Ambush Bug, it turns out, is responsible for the death of Sue Dibney, Ambush Bug Year None #1

Runner-up: A Medieval wizard buys a shit-load of goods at S-mart, AoD/Xena #1


Best Free Comic Book Day Comic: Gumby… of course


Best Trade Paperback: Zot!: The Complete Black and White Collection: 1987-1991
Runner-up: Captain Carrot and the Final Ark!


Biggest Warm Fuzzy: The Medieval Silent Knight is revealed to be an ancestor of Superman’s adopted Family, Brave and The Bold #10, DC Comics.


Best Collection of Older Comics: I Shall Destroy All the Civilized Planets
Runner-up: The Mammoth Book of Best Crime Comics



Best Cameo: ‘Mazing Man: Ambush Bug: Year None. #1
Nazi Super Villains in the entrance way in Berlin Building The Twelve #1


Coolest Country in Marvel Atlas Volume 2: Boca Caliente (doesn’t that mean spicy hot mouth?)


Dumbest Moment: New Gods, New Gods New Gods!



Best Monster: Giant Eyeball Demon, Iron Man Legacy of Doom #4, Marvel Comics

Runner-up: Ursus the Ultra Bear, The Age of The Sentry #2, Marvel Comics



Biggest Surprise: Ambush Bug Marries Dumb Bunny, Ambush Bug #3,


Best Golden Age Retcon: The Twelve, Marvel Comics
Runner-up: Fantastic Comics #24 Image


Worst Golden Age Retcon: Project Superpowers, Dynamite Entertainment


Worst Retcon Period: Red Sonja #29, her own Goddess set’s her up to get raped and have her family murdered.


Best Pimp Scene: Star Trek: Mirror Images #2, IDW



Best Terrorist Acronym: NACHO (Nihilist Anti-Capitalist Hate Organization) Badger Saves the World IDW


Best New Trick for an Old Dog: John Byrne doing Star Trek Comics
Runner-up: DC Fontana doing Star Trek comics


Most Ruined Character: Red Sonja
Runner-Up: The Wasp… because she’s like dead


Best Supporting Character: Cheeks the Toy Wonder (Of course)

Runner Up: Abdul Alhazred, Fall of Cthulhu, Boom Studios


Best Western: Jonah Hex


Best Nonfiction Comic: Comic Book Comics, Evil Twin


Biggest Yawn: The Flash is coming Back!!!!! Zzzzzz


Best Revival from Suspended Animation: The Creature Commandos in Action Comics #872


Best Origin Story: The Black Widow, Twelve #8
Runner-up: Ungrounded Super Agent The Twelve #6


Lamest Promotion: Those Skrull "Who Do You Trust" ads
Runner-up: What were you doing final crisis


Best Crossover: The Army of Darkness/Xena: Why Not, Dynamite Entertainment


Title I would Have Liked To Try from the Beginning But It Was Always Sold Out: Guardians of the Galaxy


Favorite Lesbian: Golden Age Black Widow, The Twelve, Marvel Comics
She was Goth before there was Goth...



Best One Liner: “Hi Lois! I’ve got a weenie with your name one it” Earth 2 Superman. Ambush Bug: Year None # 3


Best Meh Ending: Y: The Last Man.


Best Capturing of the Spirit of 1980s Comics: Amazing Spider-Girl


Best Corporate Foot-Stepping: Moonstone vs. Dynamite over the publishing rights to The Phantom.


Biggest Disappointment: Project Superpowers, The heroes have been stuffed in a jar all these years? ...give me a break...
Runner Up: What... No Poo flinging in Marvel Apes?


Congratulations to all the winners!

Comics Hate

I was reading my copy of Omega the Unknown #4 when I flipped the page to the Questions That Need Answers section of the comic book. In this installment, comic creators answered the question: What did your parents think of you reading comics when you were a kid? Many of the answers were the expected waste of time or didn’t care variety, but J. Michael Staczynski’s…

They thought they were a bad influence on me, not understanding that it was comics that taught me how to read, and gave me a sense of morality and ethics to this day. They thought comics were a distraction from my school work. I, on the other hand, treasured my comics. I kept them in a tin box to protect them from the environment, stacked them front-to-back the way you are supposed to, to keep them from bending up. I had compete runs from everything from X-Men to Journey into mystery and Thor and Amazing Spiderman, and Daredevil and Conan and Eerie and Creepy and on and on and on, all in pristine condition, not because I thought they’d be worth something someday, but because I just liked keeping them that way. So one day, when my grades weren’t sufficiently high, my father sat down across from me, opened up the tin box, and one by one, tore up every single one of my comics as I stood by and looked on. “This is for your own good.” He said “You’ll never make a living from comics, you know.”

Shocking, to say the least. My parents could have cared less that I was reading comics. I’ve just never understood the violent, yes violent, hate some people have for comic books, but with attitudes like Staczynski’s parents it’s easy to understand why the medium has never garnered much respect (my opinion of most of DC’s and Marvel’s modern output aside). Now, there are all sorts of reasons for this attitude, one of them being the Comic Code Authority, but the saddest part of this whole story is that there are huge swaths of the general public (IMHO) that would really enjoy comics but because of the bad rep they have, most people will never try them. When I tell acquaintances about comics they immediately dismiss them. If by some chance I can get them to read something written by say, Alan Moore, they’re rather shocked at how good it is. I lent my copy of Watchmen to co-worker I know. He’s a scriptwriter and filmmaker on the side. But he never got around to reading it because it was a comic. One of the best things ever written period, and he couldn’t bring himself to crack it open. That’s another thing that bugs me too, a lot of people that work in film and video often dislike comics as well. They work in a “Visual Medium” and they detest comics…?! I just don’t get that. Tim Burton has publicly stated that he would never read a comic… then why the fuck did you direct Batman Tim? I happen to be one the few people on the planet that thought that film sucked by the way. Some of that is changing, a little, as films like Sin City, 300 and Spiderman have amazed the general public, but I’m ever envious of the exalted position that comics hold in Japan. My eyes almost teared up the first time I was in a Japanese bookstore because of the rows upon rows of comics in every conceivable genre (but that’s another post). But you never know. Perhaps if my dad had ripped up all my comic books maybe I could have had a career as a sci-fi and comics writer too.