One More Observation

I know, I know, everybody is sick of blogging about One More Day and Peter and Mary Jane’s Marriage disappearing but I just wanted say that, more major news organizations (and not so major) have finally picked up the story this week... ...at least on the web. This one by the AP here is a good example. Most of them just regurgitate Joe Q’s spew about how wonderful the whole thing is and how the fans had now idea it was coming. Of course, opinions like these really reflect the surprise of the reporters that aren’t reading comics rather than the fans.

It’s funny, because this happened last month, but I guess a comic book can still make news even belatedly. Too bad it wasn’t a story that was actually any good.

-Swinbread

The Web-Swinger

Man, when I’m right about something, I am Dam Right! Thanks to Rich at comic by comic for pointing out Spiderman’s new horn-dog makeover. I made a one-off joke about the whole One More Day thing really being about Spidey getting laid in this post here. Well, it turns out, YES, that IS the reason Pete is single now. As Quesada says in this part of his interview with CBR :

Bottom line, there are so many things that twentysomethings are doing with their lives that a married Peter can’t. He needs to be a single guy. Sure, he can have a girlfriend -- that adds something to his story -- but a married Peter just cuts off too many avenues for good soap opera.

…And Promiscuity! You have to admit you wanna’ see Spiderman bagging the babes and I think I do too. I just repressed it. I see the light now and realize that Joe is a total genius; the era of the spider-marriage is over. Long Live Spiderman the SEX-MACHINE! I bet Joe Quesada really wanted to call the storyline Brand New Lay, but of course that would hurt Marvel’s wholesome, family friendly image. But forget titles, just think of all the chicks Spidey can do now! I’ve kinda had a hankering for Spiderman to get busy with Jessica Drew for a while now. That would be some real hardcore arachnophilia!

After Spiderwoman there’s a whole list of women for Spidey to mess around with: Black Cat (the old GF thing), Sue Richards (the MILF thing!), Wasp (the massage thing), Tigra (the chicks with tails thing), Storm (the white-hair, black thing), Ms. Marvel (the drinkin’ F-buddy thing), Dazzler (the disco thing), Mystique (the shape-changer thing), Black Widow (the Russian, Spy thing), Northstar (Oh wait, I meant Aurora, Uh, I mean I was really drunk…), Jubilee (the underage, pervy thing) and She-Hulk (oh Man, that would be some great schmo action there!) just to name a few of the hook ups. Also, Marvel could really punch up the soap opera action by having Pete get a social disease. Think about it. Who did he catch it from? Who did he give it to? And How is he gonna’ explain to Aunt May that it hurts when he has to pee? And if Spidey’s lust life goes in the crapper altogether? No problem, we can always watch him download porn! I can’t wait for his reaction to 2 girls 1 Cup. Now that’s Drama! Way to go Joe! Let the Spider orgy begin!

Just Imagine a new Marvel/DC crossover now that Webhead is a player again!

-Swinebread

Spider Faust

What do I think about Amazing Spider-Man #545 and the whole One More Day thing? Simply this... Spider-Man, and Mary Jane for that matter, would never make a deal with the Devil... ever. And they certainly wouldn't do it to dissolve their marriage. A bargain of this sort is evil, pure and simple and I've never thought of either character as evil. But if making a little satanic deal seems to solve all kinds of storytelling problems well, what the hell, why not? grrrr... What a great message to send to the kiddies Marvel. This is merely Quesada's wet dream on crack. This fixes nothing and ruins everything. Well, OK Secret Wars is still intact, but the rest of Spider-man's story is buggered. It’s as if Jesus, when he was tempted in the desert by Lucifer, said yes. I don’t buy it… and I didn’t buy it by the way. I read it in the store.

Plus, on top of all that, it's just a shitty story. I'd rather read 52 issues of the Hairy Adventures of Wonder Man from Earth-11 then any more comics like this. I don’t think I’m alone in feeling hostile about this whole narrative fiasco. I can hear the fanboys (and girls) sharpening their knives. Look out Marvel here they come:



-Swinebread